My children were born in Jersey in the Channel Isalnds, as my husband was on a five-year work secondment there at that time. But eventually that secondment came to an end, and we had to buy a new house to live in as a family of four, and then plan a move back to the UK with a nearly three year old and a one year old. To say it was stressy was an understatement

Here are some hints and tips for thngs that we did to make things easier for ourselves, and some other things that may be helpful if you have older children.

Listen to their concerns and help them understand what is going on

Our one-year-old did not have too much problem with the move, or at least nothing that he was able to enunciate. He took his first steps in the last month we were in Jersey and was starting to get the hang of walking, but when we got to the new place, he sat back down, went back to crawling and did not walk again for a few more months. So I guess that shows that even at that age, something was going on inside his head and he found the change unsettling.

Our three year old was a different story. We went house hunting, and when we found the one we wanted, we took the children to show them, and showed her how she would have her own room, whereas she had beeen sharing with her brother. She took one look at it and said ” I like it but there are no toys in here!” We had to explain that all her toys would be coming with her. The person we were buying the house from was there showing us around. When we were leaving we asked our daughter what she thought of the house and she said “I like it but I don’t want to live with that lady!” More explanations needed and a few giggles…

On that trip we took lots of photos, of the house, the garden, the river close by, the railway station (which they loved as there are no trains on Jersey) and also a local school that they might go to. I turned these photos into a picture story book called “Susan” moves house. I added pictures of the car and the ferry we needed to use to get there and pictures of all the exciting things in the new place, and I finished the story with “Susan” and her brother and her mummy and daddy were very happy. I read her this book every night for a month, and I also let her take it into nursery and the teachers also read it to the class, which made her feel very special, and happier.

Get the kids to help pack 

One of the biggest things that kids struggle with during a house move is the lack of autonomy they feel. Indeed, it can feel as if they have no say in the matter and no part in the princess. You can help alleviate this by getting them involved with some of the decluttering and packing. By doing this you can avoid throwing out things they love and miss, and cut down the time it will take to get ready for the move too!

This will of course depend on their age. In our case, because the children were so young and the journey was long, so we allowed the children to choose one big bagfull each of their most precious things which travelled with them, and the rest was packed up by the removal guys (see below) .

Allow them to say goodbye properly

While it may be hard to see your kids upset because of your choice to move house, you must allow them to say goodbye properly to the house, their neighbours, and the local area. 

How you can do this will differ depending on the needs of your child and other factors, but some people like to host an open house leaving party a few days before they move out. In our case, our daughter’s third birthday was the week before we moved, so we threw a big birthday party for her and invited everyone we knew.

Listen to their concerns and make space for them 

Kids might not be 100% on board with the move, especially older ones and although you know they will be fine once they have settled in, it’s still important to make sure they know they can voice their issues and be heard. 

With this in mind, it’s a good idea to make moving day as stress-free as possible, so you have the emotional resources to deal with any concerns, tears or worries.  One way of doing this is to work with a professional mover like Denix Moving, as they can do all the heavy lifting and driving for you, which means that you will be a great deal less stressed, and so will be able to better tend to your child’s emotional needs. 

Another good tip to help you stay calm on moving day is to make sure you have everything packed up and clearly labelled beforehand. Where possible label boxes with where they should go in the new property to make things even easier.

In our case we paid extra for the removal firm’s professional packing service. I left with the children before the removal men arrived, so they wouldn’t get stressed. We travelled to the UK and went to stay with my mother, a journey they already knew and a place they loved. My husband stayed and supervised the packing, then once the van had left and he had given the keys back, he flew to the UK.

Then a couple of days later we drove to the new house, my husband met us there and the van arrived. Becuase it had all been professionally packed, everything was beautifully arranged in labelled boxes – we had specified that everything from the children’s communal room should be separated into her things and his things, and so it was and they each had boxes and furniture for thier own room. As with any move it took some time to unpack everything and settle in, but it could not have been any more straightforward and stress-free.

Help them settle in faster in the new place 

Last of all you can make moving with children less stressful by ensuring they settle in as fast as possible in their new place. One way of doing this is to make it a priority to unpack and decorate their new rooms. It can be particularly helpful to keep the decor similar to their previous room or let them choose new decorations so they have ownership of the space. 

Also creating positive associations in the new home as soon as possible can be effective. For this, you can burn their favorite candle in the family areas, treat them to take out on the night of moving in, or even host a family game night! 

Our move was very successful indeed, and more than 18 years later we are still very happy in the home we chose, and both children love the area that they have grown up in.

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